Parvathi with husband Balan and related events
Parvathi lived with her husband in Chennai, when the !atter was studying Law. I do not know how long but it could: not have been more than utmost 2 years. They lived in a house ( I do not know whether the house belonged to them or was rented) in SulHvans Garden Road. This house was a land mark for us and used to be pointed out as Parvathi's house by my mother whenever we had an opportunity to pass that house. Subsequently this house was purchased by one of the sister's of Drat's father. It is not possible to recognize this now. My mother and father used to avoid taking Parvathj even close to this place. She could have recognized the landmarks and got agitated. Her husband died of Typhoid. Dr Rangachari of Haloed memory attended on him but in those days in late twenties, there were no medicines that could have cured him Nature had to take its course. At his death, his mother, Parvathi, my parents, my mother's brother Prof T N Muthuswamy and his wife Rajam Manni. RJ (Drat's father) and his mother were there among a few others. Parvathi was asked to light his funeral pyre. The reason attributed was that they had no children. The suggestion seems to have been made by Prof Muthuswamy and I have heard that Parvathi's lighting the funeral pyre secured for her the share of her husband's estate for lifetime and this was one of the prime motivations. Balan was the only child and with him ended the family tree. His mother lived in Kumbakonam and if my memory serves me right she lived in a street running parallel to the Cauvery river, the name of the street I do not recall. However 1 do remember a visit to her with my mother (I do not remember whether Parvathi was with us or not) I remember Parvathi prostrating to her mother in law but the image is not clear, I must have been just about 5 or 6. Parvathi's mother in law was a typical brahmin lady wearing her 9 yards saree, the jewels she probably wore diamond ear rings and a gold chain and a coiled chain too but i am writing; this after seven decades and the recollection is vague. My mother was not happy with this visit. It was the only time we went to see her. At her death, Parvathi was said to have been 65. I was probably two or three years old when Balan died, which places his death in the early 30's. I have no documents to establish dates and I hope I can get the gemological tree compiled by Prof. Muthuswamy. I have a very faint recollection that for a few years Parvathi used to write to her mother-in-law when the Balan's annual Shradh was due. I believe there was no response from the old lady and so this practice died. The old woman had a grudge against Parvarti - she believed that her son died because parvathi did not have Mangalya Balam ie the strength of her marriage vows to save her husband. This was of course the belief in those days and the widows, young and old were isolated to suffer their grief and ostracized for no fault of their own.
Parvathi treasured a few articles associated with her life with Balan. She had a chest of drawers that had the Pearlson company and a carved sofa upholstered with the Perlson lable. Her Chest of drawer had memorabilia of Ba!an in the early days. When I was about 12 years old, I opened one of the top drawers, the key having been left by accident (Parvathi used to lock the drawers and keep the keys herself) I was surprised to find row s of matchboxes which contained burnt match sticks, a number of wooden spindles carrying the plantain fiber thread that she has made for flower stringing,. Over the years many of her possessions that were stored in the Chest of drawers were gone. She always had a celluloid doll of about 24" which she used to adorn with dresses my mother tailored from bits and pieces. It was her Papa as she called it. It was there till the late forties and 1 do not know where it went. She lived with us but she lived by herself, within herself.
That she could laugh at all and display a sense of humor without rancor or self pity despite her suffering surprises me. My mother used to say that Parvathi’s wedding and my sister Savithri's wedding were celebrated in the same year and she believed that such events attract jealousy and evil eyes, Parvathi paid the price- My father had some belief in an astrologer Adhyana Bhattar, at Thirukkadavur, (a village just about a couple of miles from our village and from where my private tutor used to come home to teach ) and he is said to have influenced in no small measure to give Parvathi in marriage to Balsxan. After Balan's death, there were many who are supposed to have said that Balan did not have a long life as per his Stars, MY father never even talked about this astrologer after the tragedy. This Adhyana Bhattar used to go to Sirkall every day in his bullock cart but will avoid going at a time when my father was on the road.
What a life virtually unlived for this world, but lived with acceptance, if not without sorrow.
I have no recollection of anything that happened to Parvathi, her short lived marriage, equally short-lived life with her husband. My mother said only once that before the ten day ceremony for Balan was over, some suggestions from the late Muthuswamy Iyer included, was made that Parvathi should adopt me. My mother resisted this suggestion I do not know what influenced her. It was said her other son born after four daughters was not a very healthy and she had also lost her fourth daughter due to cirrhosis of the liver. Perhaps she also believed that Parvathi was a Dhurbhagyavathi ( an expression she used often meaning a person attended by misfortune) and was afraid that she may not even be blessed to keep the adopted child.
My mother used to say that Parvathi's husband had a great deal of regard and affection for my father. He used to call him "Mama" (uncle) and always looked up to him for suggestions and advise in managing his property which was not inconsiderable. He was a very simple and unassuming lad,very fond of Parvathi. I believe he used to carry me around as a child. None of these I recall.
My mother used to say that Parvathi was very fair, charming and fun-loving. During a journey to Ooty a lady (my mother said an English woman, perhaps an Eurasian) asked my mother to let her adopt P3avathi. Parvathi did not completely lose her sense of humor even in later life notwithstanding the cruel shocks she had endured . When little boys moved around without clothes, she used to admonish them that they are displaying their "BELL"! My mother's brother the late T N Viswanathan used to repeat this even in his late life and laugh.
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